That Potter Slash
by Minerva McTabby
Summary: Green Eggs and Ham parody. 'Nuff said. Slash Warning should be redundant, really.


Title: That Potter Slash  
Author: Minerva McTabby

Pairings: as many as I could  
Rating: probably smutty enough for R  
Summary: Green Eggs and Ham parody. 'Nuff said.  
Categories: humor, parody  
Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I'm up to no disrespect for the work of JK Rowling or Dr Seuss. And I'm not making a Knut off this.  
Archive: yes, for god's sake spread it across the galaxy EG  
Notes: Dedicated to all HP slash writers. Especially Telanu, JayKay, Ailei, Lyle, Rhysenn, PhatGirl, Seeker, and lady of shalott. Wishing you good writing vibes for 2002.

**THAT POTTER SLASH**

Trash-I-am!  
Call-me-Trash!

That Call-me-Trash!  
That Call-me-Trash!  
I do not like  
that Call-me-Trash!

Would you like  
some Potter slash?

I do not like it,  
Call-me-Trash.  
I do not read  
that Potter slash.

Would you like some  
Draco/Ron?

I would not like some  
Draco/Ron.  
Tell them to put their  
clothes back on.  
I do not like  
that Potter slash.  
I do not like it,  
Call-me-Trash.

Would you like some  
Lupin/Black?  
Naked Remus  
on his back?

I would not like some  
Lupin/Black.  
I think I'd have  
a heart attack.  
I would not like some  
Draco/Ron.  
Tell them to put their  
clothes back on.  
I do not like that Potter slash.  
I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

Would you read  
a Seamus scene?  
Can you see him  
blowing Dean?

No Seamus/Dean.  
That's quite obscene.  
No Lupin/Black.  
No heart attack.  
I would not read that Draco/Ron.  
Tell them to put their clothes back on.  
I would not read that Potter slash.  
I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

Would you? Could you?  
Harry/Snape?  
Read it! Read it!  
No escape!

I would not,  
Could not,  
Harry/Snape.

You may like it.  
It's so good.  
You may like this  
Percy/Wood.

I would not, could not Percy/Wood.  
Nor Harry/Snape! Don't think they should.  
I do not like that Seamus/Dean.  
I do not like it, sight unseen.  
I do not like that Lupin/Black.  
No naked Remus on his back.  
I do not like that Draco/Ron.  
Tell them to put their clothes back on.  
I do not like that Potter slash.  
I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

Try James! Try James!  
Try James! Try James!  
Could you, would you,  
Lucius/James?

No Lucius/James! No Percy/Wood!  
No Harry/Snape! Trash! Understood?  
I would not, could not, Seamus/Dean.  
I would not, could not, it's obscene.  
I will not read that Lupin/Black.  
I think I'd have a heart attack.  
I will not read that Draco/Ron.  
Tell them to put their clothes back on.  
I do not read that Potter slash.  
I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

Say!  
George on Fred?  
Or Fred on George?  
Would you, could you, Fred and George?

I would not, could not,  
Fred and George.

Would you read some  
twincest games?

I would not read those twincest games.  
Not George and Fred. Not Lucius/James.  
Not Harry/Snape. Not Percy/Wood.  
I do not like them, Trash. No good.  
Not Lupin/Black. No Seamus scene.  
No heart attack. No blowing Dean.  
I will not read that Draco/Ron.  
They can all go put their clothes back on!

You do not like that Potter slash?

I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

Snape and Lupin  
in the Tower?

I would not want them  
in the Tower!

Or Harry/Draco  
in the shower?

I could not watch them in the shower.  
Or Snape and Lupin in the Tower.  
I will not read any twincest games.  
I will not read that Lucius/James.  
No Fred and George! No Percy/Wood!  
No Harry/Snape! That understood?  
I do not like that Seamus scene.  
I do not like him blowing Dean.  
I will not read that Lupin/Black.  
No naked Remus on his back.  
I do not like that Draco/Ron.  
It simply DOESN'T TURN ME ON!

(insert total collapse here)

I do not like that Potter slash!  
I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

You do not like it.  
So you squick.  
Try it! Try it!  
It's not sick.  
Try it - and it just might click.

Trash!  
If you will go away,  
I will try it.  
Make my day.

(insert very, very nervous look here)

(R E A D I N G)

Trash!  
I like this Potter slash!  
I do! I like it, Call-me-Trash!

Get Harry/Draco in the shower.  
And Snape with Lupin in the Tower...  
And I will read some twincest games  
with Fred and George. Then Lucius/James.  
And Harry/Snape. And Percy/Wood.  
These fics are really, really good!  
So I will read that Seamus scene.  
I want to see him blowing Dean.  
And I will read that Lupin/Black  
with naked Remus on his back.  
And I will read some Draco/Ron.  
All these pairings TURN ME ON!

I do so like  
this Potter slash!  
Thank you!  
Thank you,  
Call-me-Trash!

** THE END **


End file.
